Injury to Colourist Sparks Near Riot

By Bob Barnes
DFG ONLINE Staff Reporter

Fans took to the streets this afternoon after learning of the freak accident that hospitalized DFG colourist Flora Lovartalot late last evening (click here for full story). What can only be described as a near-riot broke out in front of DFG corporate HQ. Carnage City Police Chief Seamus McMullen (pictured in the top photograph) was forced to subdue one distraught fan who was calling for the blood of DFG co-publishers Graves & Andrews. "I'll tell ya, it was quite a scene," said McMullen, "fortunately, after some tazer applications, tear gas, and rubber bullets, the crowd dispersed peacefully." A similar crowd gathered later outside the Carnage City General Hospital to hold vigil for Flora (see lower picture). The Carnage City P.D. was on hand to ensure no violence erupted.

This reporter spoke with several fans outside the hospital. "We just want Flora to know that we love her, and are praying for her recovery," said one teary-eyed woman. Another man added, "I think everyone is being hard on poor Ernest (editor's note: Ernest Wontellalie -- the DFG janitor who improperly secured the shelving unit that fell on Flora). No one ever uses those tether straps... it was just a freak accident." DFG enthusiast Javier Santamotzarello was on hand to lead in a special prayer vigil and candlelight service.

Dan Graves and Darryl Andrews have been unavailable for comment, although Mr. Andrews was spotted at a local bistro in the company of several foreign investors, reputedly closing an overseas licensing deal. Mr. Graves has avoided the media.