Todd Abbot "Side-lined" by Sudden Illness

By Nofuel Surcharge
Special to D.F.G. Online
Since the untimely passing of Flora Lovartalot, Comic-book Artist Todd Abbot has been suffering with bouts of mental illness. Thinking Billy Corrigan of Smashing Pumpkins (whom he's never met) is trying to enlist his services in drawing the cover album art for the band's next release is but one of the many curious behaviors he is exhibiting. More curious was his actions as he layed down outside his mobile home and announced he was going to grow turkeys. Abbot is showing all kinds of symptoms of mental illness including: shifting between giddy and nonsensical, happy to depressed, crying, and semi-normal, to belligerent, foul mouthed, vulgar and destructive behavior over a period of hours, back and forth. He's barely slept or eaten since Flora's death. Darryl Andrews, DFG Co-Publisher commented, "I doubt the validity of the psychiatric diagnosis due to the sudden onset and severity of the symptoms, and suspect physio-neurological problems instead. Todd is simply, one messed up person". Todd Abbot could not be reached for comment as he is on foot in the Amalfi Coast.

Flora Lovartalot -- Dead at 52

Special to DFG ONLINE!

by Bob Barnes

A wave of torrential sadness washed over the comic book industry today as word quickly emerged that DFG Colourist extraordinaire, Flora Lovaratlot, has died. Ms. Lovartalot, known for her bold colour choices and flamboyant hats was a relative newcomer to DFG. Fans have been keeping vigil outside the Carnage City General Hospital for over a week following the tragic shelving accident that hospitalized her. One fan, who introduced the "tether for Flora" campaign drove all the way from North Carolina to lead in a special vigil. "I'm devestated that I got here too late," said Louise Expatcanuck, "she was a special person and left us too young. Mark my words, I will not rest until every single IKEA shelf is safely teathered!" Another well-known DFG enthusiast, Javier Santamotzarello, commented, "It's a sad day... Flora introduced a look to DFG that revolutionized their line. Until Flora arrived, DFG only published in black and white. Flora revitalized their whole look. She will be sorely missed." DFG corporate HQ issued this terse press release: "It is our sad duty to advise the public that Flora Lovaratlot has died. We express our deep sympathy to her family." When asked for comment, Comic book giant Todd Abbot (who has recently been romantically linked to Ms. Lovartalot) stated, "That just shows once again how insensitive those clowns are... FLORA HAD NO FAMILY!!!" This reporter could not help but shed a tear as the crowds gathered outside DFG HQ to lay flowers and wreaths in Flora's memory.

Happy 38th Birthday to DFG Co-Founder Darryl Todd Andrews!

A special commemorative print from an original Dan Graves pencil drawing is now available as part of our celebration of this special occasion. The print features a portrait of DFG Co-founder Darryl Andrews surround by five of his greatest superhero creations - Captain Nepto, Nightmare, the Warrior, and Cyclone & Tornado. Available for a limited time only and in a limited number of signed editions (signed by both Dan Graves & Darryl Andrews), only $595.00 (plus applicable taxes).

More Spy Comics Pages Leaked!

By Bob Barnes

Special to DFG ONLINE!

Back in August two pages of the highly anticipated Spy Comics Presents the Invincibles #5 were leaked by an inside source at DFG Corporate HQ (click here for story and pages). Now, amidst the pandemonium generated by the freak accident and hospitalization of DFG colourist, Flora Lovartalot, two further pages of Dan Graves pencilled artwork have been posted online. Pages 3 and 4 reveal the mounting tenion in the concluding chapter of "The Battle of the Invincibles." Again, the suspected source is DFG janitor, Ernest Wontellalie, who has already received several reprimands for his previous leaks. Oscar Foodlecollins, DFG webmaster has provided DFG ONLINE with scans of the pages. "I'm shocked... and saddened," said DFG Publisher and Vice-President Dan Graves, upon hearing of the leaked pages, "That someone would take advantage of the confusion of this tragic situation to loot the DFG offices for artwork to post on the internet is just plain unconscionable." Chief Augustus Smith, head of DFG security also commented, "We really have egg on our faces, this time. This sort of thing seems to now standard for DFG staffers. Let me tell you, this time we are going to lay charges and get to the bottom of such scandalous behaviour." At this hour, DFG legal counsel, Sir Milton Goldfarbstein, KG, QC, LLB, PhD, is in court attempting to obtain an injunction to have the pages removed from the internet.

Injury to Colourist Sparks Near Riot

By Bob Barnes
DFG ONLINE Staff Reporter

Fans took to the streets this afternoon after learning of the freak accident that hospitalized DFG colourist Flora Lovartalot late last evening (click here for full story). What can only be described as a near-riot broke out in front of DFG corporate HQ. Carnage City Police Chief Seamus McMullen (pictured in the top photograph) was forced to subdue one distraught fan who was calling for the blood of DFG co-publishers Graves & Andrews. "I'll tell ya, it was quite a scene," said McMullen, "fortunately, after some tazer applications, tear gas, and rubber bullets, the crowd dispersed peacefully." A similar crowd gathered later outside the Carnage City General Hospital to hold vigil for Flora (see lower picture). The Carnage City P.D. was on hand to ensure no violence erupted.

This reporter spoke with several fans outside the hospital. "We just want Flora to know that we love her, and are praying for her recovery," said one teary-eyed woman. Another man added, "I think everyone is being hard on poor Ernest (editor's note: Ernest Wontellalie -- the DFG janitor who improperly secured the shelving unit that fell on Flora). No one ever uses those tether straps... it was just a freak accident." DFG enthusiast Javier Santamotzarello was on hand to lead in a special prayer vigil and candlelight service.

Dan Graves and Darryl Andrews have been unavailable for comment, although Mr. Andrews was spotted at a local bistro in the company of several foreign investors, reputedly closing an overseas licensing deal. Mr. Graves has avoided the media.