Todd Abbot "Side-lined" by Sudden Illness

By Nofuel Surcharge
Special to D.F.G. Online
Since the untimely passing of Flora Lovartalot, Comic-book Artist Todd Abbot has been suffering with bouts of mental illness. Thinking Billy Corrigan of Smashing Pumpkins (whom he's never met) is trying to enlist his services in drawing the cover album art for the band's next release is but one of the many curious behaviors he is exhibiting. More curious was his actions as he layed down outside his mobile home and announced he was going to grow turkeys. Abbot is showing all kinds of symptoms of mental illness including: shifting between giddy and nonsensical, happy to depressed, crying, and semi-normal, to belligerent, foul mouthed, vulgar and destructive behavior over a period of hours, back and forth. He's barely slept or eaten since Flora's death. Darryl Andrews, DFG Co-Publisher commented, "I doubt the validity of the psychiatric diagnosis due to the sudden onset and severity of the symptoms, and suspect physio-neurological problems instead. Todd is simply, one messed up person". Todd Abbot could not be reached for comment as he is on foot in the Amalfi Coast.

Flora Lovartalot -- Dead at 52

Special to DFG ONLINE!

by Bob Barnes

A wave of torrential sadness washed over the comic book industry today as word quickly emerged that DFG Colourist extraordinaire, Flora Lovaratlot, has died. Ms. Lovartalot, known for her bold colour choices and flamboyant hats was a relative newcomer to DFG. Fans have been keeping vigil outside the Carnage City General Hospital for over a week following the tragic shelving accident that hospitalized her. One fan, who introduced the "tether for Flora" campaign drove all the way from North Carolina to lead in a special vigil. "I'm devestated that I got here too late," said Louise Expatcanuck, "she was a special person and left us too young. Mark my words, I will not rest until every single IKEA shelf is safely teathered!" Another well-known DFG enthusiast, Javier Santamotzarello, commented, "It's a sad day... Flora introduced a look to DFG that revolutionized their line. Until Flora arrived, DFG only published in black and white. Flora revitalized their whole look. She will be sorely missed." DFG corporate HQ issued this terse press release: "It is our sad duty to advise the public that Flora Lovaratlot has died. We express our deep sympathy to her family." When asked for comment, Comic book giant Todd Abbot (who has recently been romantically linked to Ms. Lovartalot) stated, "That just shows once again how insensitive those clowns are... FLORA HAD NO FAMILY!!!" This reporter could not help but shed a tear as the crowds gathered outside DFG HQ to lay flowers and wreaths in Flora's memory.

Happy 38th Birthday to DFG Co-Founder Darryl Todd Andrews!

A special commemorative print from an original Dan Graves pencil drawing is now available as part of our celebration of this special occasion. The print features a portrait of DFG Co-founder Darryl Andrews surround by five of his greatest superhero creations - Captain Nepto, Nightmare, the Warrior, and Cyclone & Tornado. Available for a limited time only and in a limited number of signed editions (signed by both Dan Graves & Darryl Andrews), only $595.00 (plus applicable taxes).

More Spy Comics Pages Leaked!

By Bob Barnes

Special to DFG ONLINE!

Back in August two pages of the highly anticipated Spy Comics Presents the Invincibles #5 were leaked by an inside source at DFG Corporate HQ (click here for story and pages). Now, amidst the pandemonium generated by the freak accident and hospitalization of DFG colourist, Flora Lovartalot, two further pages of Dan Graves pencilled artwork have been posted online. Pages 3 and 4 reveal the mounting tenion in the concluding chapter of "The Battle of the Invincibles." Again, the suspected source is DFG janitor, Ernest Wontellalie, who has already received several reprimands for his previous leaks. Oscar Foodlecollins, DFG webmaster has provided DFG ONLINE with scans of the pages. "I'm shocked... and saddened," said DFG Publisher and Vice-President Dan Graves, upon hearing of the leaked pages, "That someone would take advantage of the confusion of this tragic situation to loot the DFG offices for artwork to post on the internet is just plain unconscionable." Chief Augustus Smith, head of DFG security also commented, "We really have egg on our faces, this time. This sort of thing seems to now standard for DFG staffers. Let me tell you, this time we are going to lay charges and get to the bottom of such scandalous behaviour." At this hour, DFG legal counsel, Sir Milton Goldfarbstein, KG, QC, LLB, PhD, is in court attempting to obtain an injunction to have the pages removed from the internet.

Injury to Colourist Sparks Near Riot

By Bob Barnes
DFG ONLINE Staff Reporter

Fans took to the streets this afternoon after learning of the freak accident that hospitalized DFG colourist Flora Lovartalot late last evening (click here for full story). What can only be described as a near-riot broke out in front of DFG corporate HQ. Carnage City Police Chief Seamus McMullen (pictured in the top photograph) was forced to subdue one distraught fan who was calling for the blood of DFG co-publishers Graves & Andrews. "I'll tell ya, it was quite a scene," said McMullen, "fortunately, after some tazer applications, tear gas, and rubber bullets, the crowd dispersed peacefully." A similar crowd gathered later outside the Carnage City General Hospital to hold vigil for Flora (see lower picture). The Carnage City P.D. was on hand to ensure no violence erupted.

This reporter spoke with several fans outside the hospital. "We just want Flora to know that we love her, and are praying for her recovery," said one teary-eyed woman. Another man added, "I think everyone is being hard on poor Ernest (editor's note: Ernest Wontellalie -- the DFG janitor who improperly secured the shelving unit that fell on Flora). No one ever uses those tether straps... it was just a freak accident." DFG enthusiast Javier Santamotzarello was on hand to lead in a special prayer vigil and candlelight service.

Dan Graves and Darryl Andrews have been unavailable for comment, although Mr. Andrews was spotted at a local bistro in the company of several foreign investors, reputedly closing an overseas licensing deal. Mr. Graves has avoided the media.

DFG Colourist is Hospitalized... Todd Abbot Keeps Vigil at her Bedside

By Cynthia Martin

Freelance Reporter

Tragic news greeted the comic book industry this morning as we learned of the hospitalization of DFG colourist, Flora Lovartalot. Ms. Lovartalot, who has been at DFG Comics for less than a year has taken the industry by storm with her bold style, appears to have been the victim of a freak accident at DFG corporate headquarters. Precise details of the accident are unclear at this hour, but an inside source at DFG corporate HQ has told this reporter that the tragic accident occured shortly after a late-night staff meeting. "Apparently," says the unidentified source, "Ms. Lovartalot left the meeting after receiving her latest assignment. She went to the inventory shelves to retrieve artwork for colouring and as she reached for the artwork, the whole shelf toppled onto her and she was crushed." DFG Comics has just moved into its new HQ and the shelf apparently contained hundreds of heavy boxes of artwork dating back to the early 1980's. "It was just awful," said Antiquda Recordafile, DFG's head researcher, "I heard a crash, came running out and all I could see was this shelf, piles of boxes, scattered comic book pages and poor Flora's arms and legs protruding from underneath the fallen shelving unit -- there was no screaming, all I could hear was poor Flora wimpering in pain." DFG co-publisher and Vice-President Darryl Andrews was reached for comment, "I'm certainly not commenting to the press on such vicious rumours of our corporate irresponsbility. Just get that microphone out of my face, NOW!" While DFG bosses weren't talking, I caught up with DFG legal counsel Sir Milton Goldfarbstein, QC, KG, LLB, PhD, who noted, "DFG can bear no legal responsiblility for Ms. Lovartalot's carelessness and colossal stupidity." Another source noted that due to the haphazard nature of the recent move, the new shelving had not been properly tethered to the wall. DFG janitor and maintenence manager, Ernest Wontellalie was questioned by this reporter about this apparent oversight, "Tethered? Tethered?" he said, "Does anybody actually pay attention to those IKEA instructions that say you have to tether a bookshelf to the wall? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. They're bookshelves for crying out loud... People need to be careful, bookshelves fall over sometimes... sheesh." And what of poor Ms. Lovartalot's condition? Dr. Mortificus P. Dulytle commented that she is in critical condition at Carnage City General Hospital and in the ICU. He would not give any further information other than that DFG comic book legend Todd Abbot was keeping vigil by her bedside. This seems to confirm other reports that Ms. Lovartalot & Mr. Abbot have become romantically involved in recent days. Mr. Abbot was reached on his cellphone at the hospital, "It's just another example of the corporate irresponsiblity exercised by this friggin' company...Somebody's gotta bring those jackasses down before someone else is hurt... They hide behind that Goldfarbstein clown and his friggin LLB and pretend all is well in the friggin' DFG universe, well I can tell you, it's not all well, Flora's clinging to her life, here! DFG is cursed, man!" Mr. Abbot was obviously referring to the reputed "DFG Curse." The so-called "DFG Curse" as been dubbed such by observers who have noted the various calamities that have struck DFG staff members over the past year (Darryl Andrews was assaulted by thugs who broke into his villa earlier this year and looted his priceless art collection, Sir Milton Goldfarbstein was hospitalized after a mysterious illness, and Todd Abbot was suspected of having Kaposi's Sarcoma as well). We will keep you posted on Ms. Lovartalot's condition as information becomes available.

Halloweens of DFG's Past

Well, Halloween 2008 has come and gone, but we at DFG are ones who like ongoing celebrations and festivities. DFG has always tried to celebrate spirit of any given special day and here, from our extensive DFG archives, is one such example. Pictured are your ever popular DFG co-founders Dan & Darryl preparing for an evening of "trick-or-treating" back in the early 1990's! Always fans of the early horror film genre, the DFG co-founders masqueraded as two classic monsters, with Darryl as Dracula and Dan as the Frankenstein Monster. Rights for the Universal versions of the characters could not be obtained so they dressed the lesser-known but equally classic versions from the British Hammer films series. Pictured with them are two unidentified junior "trick-or-treaters."