Who Shot Todd Abbot?

By Fawney Bologna
Special to DFG ONLINE
Kelowna, B.C.

Word has just arrived in the newsroom that DFG janitor, Ernest Wontellalie, is being held as a "person of interest" by Kelowna authorities in the Todd Abbot shooting.  Chief Smith declined to comment on the development.  A police sgt. who wished not to be named stated, "Mr. Wontellalie has not been charged with any crime, nor is he technically a suspect, rather, he is simply a 'person of interest.'" In an interview with Bob Barnes outside the DFG fan club meeting house, Javier Santamotzarello (a noted DFG Comics enthusiast) speculated on Mr. Wontellalie's situation: "Well, Ernest has been a source of several leaks of sensitive information from DFG head office in the past.  He has been disciplined several times.  When Darryl Andrews (DFG VP and co-publisher) moved west to open the Kelowna office, he took Ernest with him to keep him on a tight leash.  I wouldn't think him capable of trying to kill a man, though.  I suspect that given his propensity to 'share' sensitive information, Chief Smith has brought him in for questioning."

So who shot Todd Abbot?  What we know so far is this.  Earlier this year Mr. Andrews moved west to open a new DFG Comics branch office.  He took with him key members of the DFG staff to get the office up and running. These individuals included DFG Colourist Flora Lovartalot, DFG Letterer Stan Kalligraf, DFG Janitor Ernest Wontellalie, and DFG Production Manager Frank Daniels.  Mr. Todd Abbot also moved his studio west at the same time, hoping that his team could provide creative material and support to DFG WEST.   On April 16th, after several months of labour action by C.R.A.P.O.N.U. (the labour union to which DFG staffers belong), DFG Comics filed for bankruptcy protection due to sales declines as a result of the labour action and low productivity. On April 17th, Todd Abbot Studios launched a hostile takeover bid to rescue and acquire the trouble DFG empire.  Later that day, Mr. Abbot was found shot at point blank range and bleeding profusely in his luxury Kelowna condo. 

The rumours are flying as to who shot Abbot.  Was it DFG VP and Co-Publisher Darryl Andrews?  He may have been motivated by the desire to destroy Abbot's takeover bid.  Was it colourist Flora Lovartalot?  She and Abbot have had a torrid, steamy  on and off again love affair for several years.  The two were also involved in an insurance fraud incident last year when they faked Flora's death to acquire the insurance benefits.  Was it letterer Stan Kalligraf?  The only apparent motive might link back to their college days when it was rumoured that they were homosexual lovers in their freshman year.  Was it Ernest Wontellalie? Todd is reputed to have snitched on Ernest in at least one of his media leaks.  Ernest could conceivably been holding a grudge.  Was it Production Manager Frank Daniels who is known for his violent temper and his disdain of artists in general and Todd Abbot in particular?

Based on the above speculation, the DFG FAN Club is featuring a poll.  Visit the site and vote "Who Shot Todd Abbot."  The winner will receive a beautiful framed Todd Abbot print, signed by Todd from his hospital bed.

Todd Abbot remains in critical condition at the Kelowna District hospital.  No visitors please.